The Parenting Assumption
When behaviour is treated as the problem, effort increases.
When environment is treated as the problem, behaviour changes.
This work looks at children, families, and development through biology, environment, and the nervous system, rather than through behaviour management, control, or correction.
It is not a method.It is a way of seeing.The same dynamics show up wherever humans develop and perform under pressure, including families, schools, and organisations.
The Book
The Parenting Assumption
A reframing of modern parenting that moves attention from behaviour to conditions, and from correction to context
An excerptIf you stood by a river and saw fish floating on their sides, something in you would know the fish were not the problem.You would not analyse their behaviour.
You would not try to motivate them to swim.
You would not explain how breathing works.You would look at the water.Modern parenting does the opposite.It stares at behaviour.
It studies reactions.
It applies techniques.
It explains, corrects, and manages.All while missing the conditions those behaviours are emerging from.A nervous system does not respond to explanation.
It responds to safety, pressure, and context.When the environment is uncertain or demanding, systems adapt.
Children adapt.From the outside, this can look like behaviour that needs fixing.
From the inside, it is a system trying to cope.We keep trying to fix the fish.And we keep missing the river.
Available as a paperback
The Parenting Assumption Podcast
Modern parenting is built on the belief that children’s behaviour is the thing to work on.
This podcast questions that frame.It looks at development through biology, environment, and the nervous system, rather than through control or behaviour management.
A short audio excerpt
Listen to the podcast
About
Geoff Owen has spent decades working with children, families, and adults under pressure.His work focuses on how environments shape nervous systems, and how behaviour changes when conditions change.
Contact
If you would like to get in touch:[email protected]
